classics drinking game

thoodleoo:

take a sip whenever:

• a roman emperor is killed/forced to commit suicide/otherwise overwhelmed by the praetorian guard
• something gay happens (take two sips if a scholar proceeds to deny that it was gay)
• agamemnon does something ill-advised
• zeus turns into something weird to seduce someone
• aeneas fucks something up unintentionally
• horace complains about trees
• vergil uses a bee metaphor or simile
• you tell someone your major and they say “it’s all greek to me” or “all road lead to rome” or something similar
• a sappho poem has less than 5 readable words
• a satyr fornicates with something strange in greek art
• diogenes the cynic does something shitposty
• socrates is unlikeable (warning: you will probably die if you attempt this)
• caesar uses an ablative absolute
• one of the greek cities starts fighting against each other
• you come across a latin word that has a meaning related to killing

take a drink whenever:

• one of the love poets says something horrifying
• the germans/gauls/carthaginians invade rome (down your glass for visigoths)
• something doubles as a dick joke (don’t do this with aristophanes)
• a shocking lack of understanding of female anatomy is shown
• you come across an ekphrasis (down your glass if somebody brings up the shield of achilles)
• only one word is left of a sappho poem
• someone from medieval times preserves a bizarre and probably untrue story about someone from antiquity

down your glass whenever:

• something that previous classicists thought had an innocuous use ends up being filthy or dick-related
• somebody asks why you would study something as useless as classics (you will need the alcohol to deal with this)
• an ancient author mentions a work of literature that is now lost
• somebody claims to have discovered alexander the great’s tomb
• someone is digging in italy for unrelated reasons and uncovers ancient roman ruins